Giving Away the Pink

     No, not me. I wish were that cute at 12! I did have the hair.

Sometimes the question comes up, “When did you lose your virginity?” As if virginity was an object, a thing that can be lost and not found. Or worse, it could be something that might be taken.

I gave mine away, happily, when I was 12 years old.

I was visiting an older cousin with whom I had been “playing doctor” since I was about 8 or 9. We started out hiding in a closet, showing each other our girl and boy bits and playing with each others’ butts. I  am not sure why butts fascinated us so, but we did spank each other and that still thrills me.

As we grew older, we graduated to a playhouse his father built for him in the back yard. It was there at the tender age of 10 I discovered my clit. And about the same time, I watched, for the first time, my cousin jerk off and squirt cum. That has stayed with me too. I love to watch, as I say, “stuff come out.”

On a warm California summer day, in the playhouse, my cousin and I found ourselves fondling each other. No, we weren’t like boyfriend/girlfriend or anything like that. We didn’t kiss. We didn’t crush on each other. As odd as it may seem, we were just cousins playing, as we always had, with each others’ bodies.

We knew about fucking and other things that teenagers and adults did. Well, we knew a little, not really much. But we did know enough to be intensely curious. And that is what it was – simple, childish curiosity. My cousin wanted to put his penis inside me. So, I let him.

It hurt like hell. But, yeah, you know, somehow it sorta felt okay. I was splayed out on a small table, my cousin was standing, so I could look down and see him penetrate me. That interested me as much as anything. It didn’t last long. After a couple of thrusts that went deeper than my tiny fingers had ever gone, my cousin pulled out and came all over my belly and t-shirt.  We looked at each other and started laughing, cracking up, feeling utterly silly. I did wonder why I didn’t get more than a sore vagina. It didn’t seem fair that my cousin got a “cookie” and I didn’t.

That single event changed my life. I never had to deal with middle school and high school angst of “losing it.” I already had. So it freed me to do it. And I did. You could say I was precocious and promiscuous from 8th grade on.

I stopped playing like that with my cousin a few months later. I got my period just before turning 13. That changed things somehow.

He’s happily married with kids, a successful entertainment attorney. We are still close. Occasionally, at family get-togethers, he’ll catch my eye and give me a little smile. I’ll smile back, knowing what he is thinking because I am too.