A Faux Burning Man July 4th

My outfit

Our idea was simple. We'd hold a "July 4th Faux Burning Man Celebration" that would include a costume parade, contest, a socially distanced and masked cocktail party by the pool (only 10 persons at a time) while streaming it to all our neighbors via Zoom. I am thrilled to report, it came off like clockwork and was crazy, sexy fun.

You see, I live a casita complex that caters to young(ish) professionals. We probably have more couples than singles now, almost all are Democrats or Independents politically, everyone tries to keep fit, and most are open-minded and fun-loving. We had 36 participate at our "Burning Man," all in costumes. Some wore sexy little outfits like mine, others crazy "Mad Max" like costumes, and several in tutus, including men, because they had seen that on a "Burning Man" photo page.

Three guys showed up in kilts wearing nothing else except two masks -- one on their face and one ... um... over their guy bits. That was way too much fun as all the girls had to peek. A few women attached feathers, flowers, lace, and such to swimsuits and their hair, wore silly hats, glasses or goggles, and clever, homemade masks. The "tutu people" had their outfits leftover from a Halloween thing. The girls in this group wore bikini tops and the guys glued on pasties that looked like big eyeballs!

Trouble, my 15-year-old young heartthrob, showed up in cutoff bib overalls that she cut into a "V" shape for a high-leg look on the front and cut high enough off in the back to expose about half of her little butt. Under this, she wore a tube top about as wide as duct tape. Cowboy boots with bare legs and a bobbed pink wig finished the look. Her mom told me she discouraged the outfit, but then, it was "Burning Man."

She and her sister wore matching cutout, sort of sling swimsuits with various chains, belts, ribbons, and strips of electrical tape here and there along with the required masks, goggles and combat boots.

The costume winners were a doctor and his wife (the doc I see on recycle Mondays). They came as doctors ala an angelic Rocky Horror in open lab coats with the sleeves cut off. Doc, I swear, wore a speedo and didn't look bad at all! His wife wore a slinky extremely high cut one piece. She had rock-solid thighs, so the look for her was super. They had angel wings and syringes of COVID-19 vaccine attached to their lab coats. Yes, they were angel doctors delivering the vaccine. As you might imagine, they were a hopeful, positive favorite.

Each person at the pool stayed for 15 minutes with drinks they brought themselves. And the whole thing was on Zoom via laptop set up in the casita nearest the pool so all could see the party when not at the pool.

Everyone who participated worked hard to make our socially distanced "Burning Man" a success. Having terrific neighbors makes sheltering at home so much easier. I'm thanking my lucky stars.