Yesterday my teen friend “Trouble” confided that the girl she is interested in at school – call her “Flirt” - had her over for a sleepover. Flirt asked Trouble to be sure and bring a sexy little nightie to wear, which she did. Trouble smiled a naughty smile and said, “we had fun!” She mused though, “I’ve never been asked to go all ‘Victoria’s Secret,” even by a boy.
We talked about how dressing for a friend or a lover can be more than teasing. Often, both men and women, simply like to see a partner look beautiful, alluring, or, yes, just sexy. I shared that in my experience, men ask for the sexy (short skirts, plunging necklines, no panties) and women seem to prefer certain looks or styles, that may or may not be “sexy,” but are usually attractive and fashionable.
I told Trouble about a guy I dated in college who had a serious thing for baby doll lingerie. He bought me several very nice sets and asked me to wear them on dates. I thought it was crazy, over-the-top, but I tried it because he was a really nice guy. I’d wear the baby doll under a loose dress to start the evening, then lose the dress along the way. As a hopeless exhibitionist, it was rather thrilling. He would take me to nicer bars or restaurants as well as “luxury” movie theatres in Beverly Hills, Westwood, or Newport Beach. I would get some very curious looks, but no one, not once, questioned my wearing lingerie in public. A girl can get away with that in Southern California, but only in the right places.
I did add a caveat to this story: don’t do something like this unless you are absolutely sure of your partner and have the kind of trust to allow such play. And never, ever, be apart from that person in public. Better yet, have another trusted friend along too.
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